Save Iraq's Children. Arabic "a plus." Derr Fred.

Nice Job in Iraq Alert!

Here's an antidote to the interrogator position I found a little while ago. US based Save The Children are looking for someone to do just that, save the children, in Iraq. The Child Protection & Education Program Manager will manage and take part in emergency education and child protection program thingies.

They reckon to speak Arabic is "a plus" to do this job. A plus? Derr... I would reckon its a necessity and suggest if you can't speak Arabic and you apply for this job, you would do anything but save children.

Position description in full.
Save the Children's website.
Similar jobs at Reuters' Alertnet.

Wait A Minute Mr Skinny Postman

A postman yesterday.
Originally uploaded by glennpeters.

Ah, to be a postman. They're not called that anymore. Alright, what's this fine man's official title?

a) Postperson
b) Postal Delivery Officer
c) Kevin
d) All of the above

And the answer is b. Some how I don't think kids will be rushing out to buy the latest Postal Delivery Officer Pat colouring book.

Anyway, Australia Post are looking for people in Sydney with a motorcycle licence and weigh 90kg or under (something to do with "motorcycle riding restrictions") to become Postal Delivery Officers. PDO's is the industry jargon, I hear.

90kg. Another job I can't apply for.

Position description in full.
The official PDO Pat website.

You Can Can Be A Can Can Dancer!

Flicking through my local (Melb, Australia) paper, The Age, I find this beauty. The legendary Moulin Rouge in Paris is auditioning “Tall Dancers.” If you are a boy who is at least 185cm/6’1”or a girl at the 175cm/5’8” and you can dance godammit, prove it to the Moulin Rouge’s ballet mistress, Miss Janet Pharaoh.

The audition, conducted by the Moulin Rouge’s ballet mistress, Miss Janet Pharaoh will take place on Monday 24th January at Dance Factory, 442-446 Church St, Richmond.

Impress the mistress and you will be off to Paris to perform in the Moulin Rouge’s brand spanking show, Féerie'. If you don’t get in, at least take photos and send them over here to butiwantaninterestingjob@yahoo.com.

Moulin Rouge website.
Learn to dance.

Vee Have Vays of Making You Talk

Nasty Job in Iraq Alert!

L-3 Communications (yes, a private company) are looking for interrogators to work in Iraq. It takes more than watching Marathon Man a few dozen times to get this job. You need to have served as a military, approved civilian interrogator or had at least five years under your belt in an intelligence agency. They will also speak to police who have completed an interrogation or debriefing course.

Unfortunately, I can’t apply for this job. US citizens, who are eligible to check out classified information at the Secret level, are the only lucky bunnies who can go for it. And don’t lie in your resume because “applicants must agree to submit to a polygraph examination.” Really. That’s exactly what the advertisement says.

And get this, interrogators must “have no demonstrated history of drug or alcohol abuse or psychiatric disorder; must agree to random drug and alcohol screening and have no demonstrated history of financial difficulty.”

Remember, L-3 Communications “maintain a drug-free workplace and perform pre-employment substance abuse testing.” Oh well, looks like I’ll be sending back my invite to their Christmas party this year.

Position description in full.

Be the Next Adam Okaro or Tom Chandler

Right, you’re nicked!

Take your obsession of the ace UK television show to the ultimate by applying to be Surrey’s new Chief Super. As you would already know if you’re a big Bill fan, you need your guvner’s written endorsement if you want to be considered for the coveted position. So get sucking, kids!

There’s hope for Tom Cryer fans because applications are also invited from recently retired geezers.

And remember, just like in the television show, the ‘Ol Bill are “committed to a policy of equal opportunity for all staff (and) will not discriminate on grounds of gender, ethnic origin, sexual orientation, faith or any other factor irrelevant to a person’s work”

If you get the job, not only will I be giving you the elusive But I Want an Interesting Job check of AUD$1.00, I will give you an extra AUD$3.75 the day you are first kidnapped by hooligans on the estate.

Position description in full.
The Bill website. (Don’t go there if you’re Australian. They are a year ahead.)
Her Majesty's Inspectorate of Constabulary

Horse Racing Caller

Alright fast talkers, Harness Racing Victoria are looking for somebody to commentate the trots and compile "expert form comment" on race meetings all over Australia. You'll be writing trots form for The Herald Sun, Harness Racer and a weekly column for Winharness.

You need: "clear and concise vocal skills," duh; proof that you are an accurate caller, double duh; and a strong knowledge of...get this for a bit of The Office-speak..."the harness racing product."

Everybody please apply for this job. I really want to know someone with a "passion" for the trots. Vindaloo anyone?

Position description in full
Harness Racing Victoria
An extremely hot Indian curry recipe

Animal House Attendant

This has nothing to do with keeping a wild Belushi in check. Instead, when Australia's science body, CSIRO are talking a Animal House, they are talking about their Molecular Science laboratory in North Ryde, NSW.

LAB RATS!

ANIMAL HUSBANDRY!

OPERATE A GURNEY OR AUTOCLAVE!

DISSECTION!

DISCARD WASTE!

EUTHANASIA!

All this, and they pay you for it.

You need a Diploma in Animal Technology, have had experience in handling small animals like mice, rats and rabbits and have a special ability to know when the little cuties are sick or in pain. It would also be a good idea to be a girly swot and memorise the Australian Code of Practice for the Care and Use of Animals for Scientific Purposes before the interview.

Position description in full
The CSIRO website
Learn more on getting a Diploma in Animal Technology
People come from all over the world to see John Belushi's grave.
A sick rabbit.

Peacebuilding Coordinator (based in Nairobi)

Let's start this thing off with a job at World Vision Sudan. They need someone to "develop and guide WV Sudan's efforts to promote a just and lasting peace in Sudan." Easy. Apart from developing World Vision Sudan's conflict resolution and advocacy strategies you will also be responsible for keeping "accurate documentation for all conflict situations including early warning, occurrences, trends, lessons learned and future solutions."

You probably need a Master's Degree in something like sociology, development studies, public policy or conflict resolution, at least five years' experience in a similar role and an "excellent understanding of the dynamics of conflict resolution in the context of war, and extensive knowledge of Sudan." before you are considered for the job.

And you need to be willing to "travel extensively" to conflict areas.

Links
Position description in full.
World Vision
Similar jobs at World Vision and other aid agencies on the Reuters Alertnet website.

Is This Thing On?

Welcome. The title says it all. I'm going to find the strangest, most wonderful job vacancies on the web and you're going to apply for them. The first reader to get a job listed on this site will win a bank cheque for exactly....wait for it...AUD$1.00!!

I got the idea for this blog a when writing some stuff for World Vision Australia (Yes, keep sending all aid agencies money and more importantly, nag your local politician to spend more on aid). The job vacancies on their internal website are incredible. The first time I looked at it, they were after somebody to work in Sudan as a government lobbyist. Later in my research I found job advertisements on a "business risk consultancy" website for interrogators to work in Iraq. This was only a couple of weeks before the Abu Gharib scandal.

Of course you can help by sending me cool job ads when you stumble over them. Send them to butiwantaninterestingjob@yahoo.com and I'll do my darndest to publish as many as I can.

A little disclaimer. This is a personal and not for profit weblog. Except where otherwise noted, this site is licensed under a Creative Commons License. I am not affiliated with any employment agencies.