The Nightwatchman's Interesting Jobs

What Do You Really Really Want?

2006-08-09T12:07:00.000+10:00

I get annoyed with job ads that want three people in one applicant. Like this.

EXPERIENCED JOURNALIST REQUIRED

Skilled Headline Writer
Must be experienced journalist.
Skilled Headline Writer Must know Quark intimately.
Be acquainted with Photoshop.
Have keyboard speed of 60+ wpm.
Be super proficient with Apple platform.

What is it you really want? A good journalist or a good graphic artist? Or do you want an editorial assistant to type down dictation?

And when the employer asks for so many skills in one position you can only expect them to be tight arses who will pay their employees bugger all.

No wonder this employer seems to have an ad in Seek every couple of weeks.

A journalist who knows Quark intimately? Eugh!

Design Money, No Really Design Money

2006-03-31T13:14:00.000+11:00

Believe it or not, Note Printing Australia (NPA) is a world leader in the manufacture of polymer bank notes and has exported banknotes to more than 20 countries. They also make Australian passports on behalf of the Commonwealth government.

They're looking for an Artist/Illustrator who's really into fine line, detailed illustrating to produce banknote designs for national and international currencies.

I'll leave the rest to the job ad.

Applicants should have a strong ability for portraiture, in particular with tonal renderings and detailed ink drawings. Applicants should also possess the ability to translate tone into line, with an aptitude for fine line, detailed art. Experience with Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop applications is highly desirable.

This position may include domestic and international travel for training and customer interface.

Applicants should preferably have attained formal qualifications in fine arts, and will need to show a folio of relevant recent work.

Applications, including a cover letter and resume, should be forwarded to:

The Human Resources Department
Note Printing Australia
PO Box 21
CRAIGIEBURN VIC 3064

Or via email to: john.girardi@npal.com.au

Applications close 21 April 2006.

Could You Work At An Emergency Call Centre?

2006-02-05T14:51:00.000+11:00

I heard the most incredible radio documentary yesterday. In 000 Ambulance you get to listen in on phone calls coming into Victoria's 000 (Australians call 000, not 911) emergency call centres.

These calls are harrowing.

A man calls from his backyard after poking his eye OUT of the socket with a shovel.

A husband calls in his wife's stroke.

Heroin users resuscitate an overdosed mate.

Onlookers help out a victim of a baseball bat attack.

But this Radio Eye documentary isn't voyeurism. We hear from some of the emergency call takers and find out how they cope with these calls.

How would you deal with a SIDS call?

I couldn't.

Here's a link to the podcast of this hour of stunning radio.

A What Ranger?

2005-12-05T14:56:00.000+11:00

The Brambuk Park & Cultural Centre at Halls Gap is advertising for an "Interpretation Ranger". The rest of the world is wondering, "What the hell is an Interpretation Ranger?"

Here's a clue...
"The main focus of the role is to assist in developing and delivering the education and interpretation services..."
Whatever they may be.
"You will also be responsible for assisting in expanding interpretation and education networks, preparing resource materials and providing technical information. This will also include assisting in the implementation of budgets and programs relating to Brambuk the National Park & Cultural Centre."
Nope, still confused.

Interpretation Services. Here's my interpretation....

Anybody who wants to: write a novel, stageplay or movie set in Halls Gap; conduct interpretive dance in the park; or spread rumours about the park's impressive rock structures will have to argue for approval from the Interpretation Ranger.

A more accurate interpretation of the position can be found at www.dfp.com.au.

One Of The Best Jobs In The World, Ever

2005-10-28T14:26:00.000+10:00

The Starlight Children's Foundation is looking for a Wishgranting Coordinator to "Brighten the lives of seriously ill and hospitalised children."

Yes, you can be THAT person.

Based in Melbourne, you will look after all all aspects of the Wishgranting program, talking to children, families, doctors, volunteers, donors, sponsors... the whole special shebang.

Selection Criteria:

* Background in health or health related experience preferable
* Understanding of the needs of children and families coping with a serious illness
* High level written and verbal communication skills
* Experience in the development and delivery of training sessions
* High level computer skills in Word, Excel, Power Point and Database management
* Highly organised and effective work practices
* Proven ability to work under pressure
* Ability to effectively manage a number of different activities
* Ability to relate to people at different levels
* Demonstrated experience in working with children
* Prior experience as a volunteer or working with volunteers preferable
* Familiarity with the park layouts of Dreamworld, Seaworld and Disneyland
* Understanding the needs of sports stars, pop stars and politicians

The best bit of the job ad is this little sentence.

Integral to this role will be your ability to demonstrate empathy, respect and care of all stakeholders.

Stakeholders? Who writes this merde? Number two in the selection criteria says so much best. Better would be to let the applicant work out that bit for themselves.

Applications to nikki.collard@mcarthur.com.au by Friday 11th November 2005

Note: I made up the last two selection criteria.

Redundant Journalists Wanted

2005-10-26T23:47:00.000+10:00

Crikey's response to yesterday's announcement of 60 redundancies at The Age and Sydney Morning Herald.

Ace Daytura, Tree Detective

2005-10-18T13:29:00.000+10:00

The Bayside City Council are looking for a ...get this... "Investigations Arborist" to cut down the big guys who flout the council's strict tree protection laws.

There's a bunch of "significant trees" out there and somebody's got to protect them. You will also check up on small tree permit applications and will be giving advice to amateur pruners on Bayside's mean streets.

You're off the case if you don't have a Degree in Arboriculture.

Position description in full.

Why I'm Still The Beaver

2005-10-12T15:11:00.000+10:00

I still got no job, interesting or otherwise.

The economists reckon I should have a job by now 'cos it's a 'jobseekers market'.
The government reckon it's because I'm failing to meet my mutual obligations.
The pundits at Crikey reckon it's because I was once a unionist.
The people at the gym say it's because I'm not doing enough reps.
John Lennon reckons it's because I'm a dreamer but luckily I'm not the only one.
The mystics believe it's because I'm cursed.
Mark Latham reckons it's because my parents never read to me and that I'm a suckhole.
Nobody cares what the federal opposition have to say of the matter.
Germaine Greer reckons it's because employers are scared of boys who refuse to 'grow up'.
The horoscopes reckon it's because my moon's got crabs.
Brian Wilson just guesses I wasn't made for these times.
Australian Idol's Mark Holden reckons he's seen me perform well but hasn't yet seen me take my performance to the next level.
The guy who fixes my tires reckons my career is only flat on the bottom.

I'm with the mystics.

Dog Catcher, Full Training Provided (To You, That Is)

2005-10-04T13:07:00.000+10:00

A stray dog, yesterday., originally uploaded by glennpeters.

The Lost Dogs Home needs an Animal Control Officer to work the Darebin beat.

Duties include collection and impoundment of stray domestic animals (picking up felons), especially dogs and cats, permit inspections and animal business audits (hassling Mr Bigs), dog attack investigations (investigations, alright!), education (visiting schoolkids), park patrols and the general enforcement of the provisions of the Domestic Animals Act.

Forget The Bill, this is crime fightin'.

A background or exposure to the regulatory environment of animal welfare/management legislation is an advantage, but not essential as full training will be provided.

To find out more, call Kevin Apostolides on 9329 2755, email your CV to kevina@lostdogs.org.au or mail it to:

Confidential: Animal Control Officer
Kevin Apostolides
The Lost Dogs’ Home
2 Gracie Street
North Melbourne Vic 3051

Dig Graves For A Living

2005-09-15T21:15:00.000+10:00

Some pundits reckon it was fear of career change which caused Mark Latham to release his spiteful diaries.

Well, here’s a job the former Labor leader could easily fall right in to.

The Emerald Cemetery Trust is looking for a “flexible, sub contracting grave digger to work with a team of volunteer trustees.”

They reckon the job should be quite easy as only about 36 graves are dug each year.

Contact June Howard after hours on 03 5968 5245. Yes, that was June, not John Howard.

Done.

Can you believe I wrote all this with only one bad pun?

If only Latham showed such self control.

Been Jilted? Experienced Groom Wanted

2005-09-14T15:39:00.000+10:00

A dressage/breeding yard in Glenorie, NSW is looking for a new groom.

But you're going to need a little more than a pair of shiny brogues and a cumberbun to get this job.

The stable's only interested in grooms who are "very competent with stallions, mares, geldings and young horses," and have had experience in dressage or an equine degree.

Question. Is dressage really a sport? A bunch of dolled up horses fannying about in plaits all day. I'm not having any of it.

Fannying about like a horse. Collingwood's Ryan Lonie's been doing that for years.

Position description in full.
Somewhat disturbing photo by a somewhat disturbing Singaporean doctor.

The Most Beautiful Boat Factory On Earth

2005-09-13T15:37:00.000+10:00

Who wouldn't want to work here?

Employers Too Picky Says Bigtime Recruiter

2005-08-31T14:48:00.000+10:00

I've long suspected this.

According to a report in AdNews the candidate shortage in marketing and advertising roles can be blamed on employers themselves.

The most recent forecast by Hays Recruiting put the finger on 'the choosy nature' of employers.

Hays' Grahame Doyle told AdNews:

"Employers are very particular aboutthe specific skills set required for each role, which is creating demand for specific skills rather than for generic roles. Employers also seek candidates with experience in their sector, and in most instances are unwilling to comporomise on this factor."

And here's the no brainer...

"While they are being precise about their requirements, Doyle said employers will have to be more flexible if they want to fill in roles. "You can't have an endless list of criteria," he said.

Exactly. Stop asking applicants stoopid questions and just give them the job THEY CAN DO, damnammit!

What Shall I Be? The Exciting Game Of Career Girls

2005-08-22T13:08:00.000+10:00

Getting good career advice has always been a tough gig. In 1966 the task was made so much easier for the ladies with the release of this terrific board game.

According to Bradley's Almanac, the blog which found the game in a mate's closet, the aim of the game is to be the first player to become either but only a teacher, actress, nurse model, ballerina or airline hostess.

And here's what badness can happen if you happen to pick up a bad chance card.

You are clumsy. Bad for Airline Hostess, Ballet Dancer, Model and nurse.
You get too excited. Bad for Airline Hostess and Nurse.
You are overweight. Bad for Airline Hostess, Ballet Dancer, and Model.
You don't speak clearly. Bad for Teacher and Actress.
Your make-up is too sloppy. Bad for Airline Hostess and Model.
You are a slow thinker. Bad for Airline Hostess and Nurse.
You have pox. Bad for Nurse, Airline Hostess and Model.

bradley's almanac

Rubber Ducky Tester

2005-07-15T02:52:00.000+10:00

In her new job as marketing manager for a Melbourne based toy designer, my sister has spent the last week testing the durability of Winnie The Pooh dolls and get this, seeing which of the company's new rubber ducky designs float best.

Yes, one or two came back from the factory with the floating abilities of a Mack Truck.

Folks Are Dumb Where I Come From

2005-07-13T01:35:00.000+10:00

Been a long time since my last posting here but hey, that's the way the cookie crumbles, that's the way the bee bumbles, that's the way the frost bites, that's the way the gnat nights etc.

Networking. One of the toughest bits about finding an interesting job is looking for the right people to hang out with. A new site, FolkLikeMe is a promising idea, a career/knowlege based dating agency webthingy where you peddle your knowlege, skills and interests.

The site reckons all kinds of people will hang out there like:

"an intellectual in Idaho writing a PHD; a coal mine manager in Australia ; a student of Taoism in Hong Kong or a telecommunications consultant in Malaysia." And that "each is an unique individual, and looking for someone with that same uniqueness; not to share an intimate dinner for two, or to find a job, or rent an appartment - but something inherently more potent: knowledge."

More spiel:

"FolkLikeMe is an online place where birds of a feather flock together. A place for thinkers as well as doers. A place where like minded people can find each other, interact, learn and share knowledge and skills. FolkLikeMe is a social networking service, modelled after the online dating model, but more interested in matching people's minds than bodies."

Nice and all but I suspect the place like many others who've tried similar, is going to be filled with helvetica-obsessed graphic design graduates like anaesthesiac, who says on his profile:

"Music keeps me alive and graphic design keeps me sane. The world is a fractal environment. Every brick, leaf and person contains infinite detail. Every sound contains more meaning than we can imagine. The deeper we delve, the more we find. I want to see it all before I leave."

Or Novaman88, who reckons:

"I'm into creativity of all types.Initially trained in the vis. arts. I actually went on to become an artist. It was easy to go from that into writing and recoding music. Later I studied English/ philosophy at uni. and found that all similar subjects relate.I'm thus a creative philosopher."

And Jam Girl:

"I live with enthusiasm and curiousity, I paint with dedication and relish, I cook (vegetarian cuisine) with abandon and flair. I'm looking to improve my employment network and add to my already excellent circle of friends. I love an informed discussion, and a good laugh."

Shouldn't she be using the "flair" in her painting and "relish" in her cooking? And how about Novaman88? "I'm thus a creative philosopher." Oh dear. Maybe instead they should have called the site, PeopleLikeUs.

FolkLikeMe.com - Matching Brains, Not Bodies

But I Want an Interesting Job: The Joke

2005-05-04T13:09:00.000+10:00

"A mate of mine has just been sacked from his job working on the dodgems. He's suing them for funfair dismissal."

Turd Polishing 101

2005-05-03T14:03:00.000+10:00

Here's a call for dancers at Melbourne strip club, The Men's Gallery.

FULL TRAINING PROVIDED
HIGH EARNING POTENTIAL $$$
SAFETY, COMFORT & PRESTIGE

The Men's Gallery is training applicants to become highly paid dancers. Excellent facilities & conditions with flexible hours. Full training provided & wonderful support from both club & dancers. Safety, comfort & prestige are our hallmarks. Dance choreographer, hairdresser & masseur are some of the services provided. Are you energetic, love being the centre of attention, enjoy diversity & WANT to have GREAT FUN & earn GREAT MONEY.

Hmmm... Safety? Comfort? Prestige?

This ad reminds me of an old circus fable. Guido ran away to join the circus and got a job administering enemas to the elephants. After a few months a nasty rash developed on his arm.
He visits a doctor and the doctor asks what Guido does for a living.
"I'm the enema boy at Ringling Brothers Circus, sir."
"Ah, that explains it. You're allergic to elephant faeces and you will have to get another job."
"What, and quit show business?"

My Other Sites

2005-04-20T13:02:00.000+10:00

My Card
Originally uploaded by glennpeters.

Don't forget about my other sites.

Since 2001 I've ran The Nightwatchman, a blog about modern culture's most interesting stuff. You know, the stuff you read about in the woderful Boing Boing and This Modern World.

If AFL football is your weakness, or even if you are losing your office AFL footy tipping competition, you may want to check out my pathetic homage to the Collingwood Football Club, Victoria Park.

Lastly, (this is the important bit), if you want to hire me as a writer, visit my writing homepage. Yes, I do want an interesting job.

Don't Talk About It. Just Do It.

2005-04-07T17:26:00.000+10:00

How far would you go to get an interesting job? Would you work for a tobacco company? Would you work for a company like Global Solutions Limited which runs the infamous Baxter Detention Centre?

To answer these questions, students at America's Stanford University started Students For Informed Career Decisions (SICD). What is it with student orgs and acronyms?

Anyway, they encourage graduates to take this pledge.

"I pledge to explore and take into account the social and environmental consequences of any job I consider and will try to improve these aspects of any organizations for which I work."

I like this little piece of pragmatic activism. SICD don't argue for unrealistic bans on taking jobs at dodgy companies. Instead, they encourage us to think a little more about the place we work at.

Their website also lists a bunch of questions you can ask (if you have the balls) at job interviews like...

"How is your company socially responsible?"
"How do your products or services make the world a better place?"
"How much money does your company spend on political contributions/lobbying expenditures?"
"If you are in a spaceship that is travelling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?"

Last question by Steven Wright.

Read more and take the pledge.

Sharp and Pointy's 39 Brilliant Careers

2005-04-02T03:17:00.000+10:00

Melbourne-based writer, Sharp and Pointy has had many interesting jobs and lists them on a blog. Funny stuff. Here's jobs 4 and 18.

"4. assistant editor on the war memorial's magazine. got this as a 6 week temp fluke from heaven cause they were between staff for the role. i remember a weird guy who was employed to identify military medals in another department who kept sending me inappropriate email attachments."

"18. Australian Parliament House. back in canberra. working for a committee so I had to sit in on these parliamentary hearing things full of overweight politicians. amanda vanstone once bailed me up in the corridors and demanded a biscuit from the catering platter I was carrying, that was funny."

Sharpandpointy

What's Wrong With You?

2005-04-01T14:37:00.000+10:00

They're STILL looking for bingo callers at the Ringwood, Reservoir and Clayton Bingo centres. Don't you bludgers want jobs?

But I Want An Interesting Job: Two Fat Ladies!

A Bunny For Life, Not Just Easter

2005-03-24T16:38:00.000+11:00

And quit showbiz?
Originally uploaded by glennpeters.

Easter never ends when you apply for this one.

Budget Steam Cleaning Services are looking for "enthusiastic and outgoing persons" to dress up in bunny costumes to hold a sign and wave at traffic.

The advertisement (found at Jobsearch) reckons this bunny job is "good fun for the right people." The right people? I gotta meet one those.

Photo from spandexwear.com.

One Word- Pixar

2005-03-18T16:01:00.000+11:00

Originally uploaded by glennpeters.

There's plenty of jobs going at the animation studio/wonderland Pixar. And I tells you what, the geniuses behind Toy Story and The Incredibles enjoy the best looking and most comfy known to the human race. According to Aint It Cool News,

"Instead of cubicles, each of the animators has a customized space.... A lot of the animators decided early on that they didn't want cubicles, so instead, Pixar found these groovy little cottages that they bought for them. Walking through the animation department is like walking through a neighborhood for dwarves. Lots of little houses laid out along streets, each one with an address on the door."

Brillo. I bet the discussions in the luxurious lunch room are (really well) animated. I'll get me coat.

Full article and more pictures from Aint It Cool News.
Pixar's Job Page.

Make Candles, Not Scandals

2005-03-07T14:14:00.000+11:00

"Experienced Candle Maker required for small manufacturer of handmade candles employing and supporting people with disabilities."
bw@thorndale.com.au

Zodiac Candles' website.

Ohhh. Isn't that nice?

What not to say at the interview.
"Where's the candle? Like a glove, sister."
"Can you bring your own wax? I've got plenty."
"Who do I have to blow to get this job?"

Two Fat Ladies!

2005-03-01T16:43:00.000+11:00

Two Fat Ladies!
Originally uploaded by glennpeters.

Worship Denis Walter by taking on the coveted role of Bingo Caller at Box Hill, Ringwood, Reservoir and Clayton Bingo centres.

They reckon you need to be "vivacious, vibrant and enthusiastic," and "If you think your voice should be on radio, have an outgoing charismatic personality and love working with people then a fun and exciting opportunity awaits you."

Also, "To be successful you will need to possess a friendly, personable and out there persona and have strong articulate communication skills."

Applications go to qpg2@qps.com.au.

My fave Denis Walter Kino moment:
"The next number is 69. And remember, Chances is on at 9.30 tonight."

Fave bingo joke.
The recent G4 Summit was innterupted by George Bush yelling BINGO! whenever G4 was mentioned.

Fave bingo phrases.
17, the age to catch 'em.
69, meal for two.
27, little duck with a crutch.
52, Danny La Rue.

Britain's best bingo caller.

The Nastiest Job of All

2005-02-03T16:23:00.000+11:00

Nasty job in St Kilda alert!

If you thought the war interrogator position in Iraq was bad.... This one hurts even thinking about it.

Ready for it?

Okay, they're looking for people to "establish a long term career" as a Parking Inspector in the super-hazardous streets of Melbourne suburb of St Kilda.

The advertisement reckons you have to "deal with a variety of personalities (per person, mostly)" and (this cracks me up) you must "have the ability to remain level headed under all circumstances." This is a slight understatement.

While it looks pretty, most of St Kilda makes Kabul look like sunny Stepford.

St Kilda. Shithouse.

Position description in full.

Save Iraq's Children. Arabic "a plus." Derr Fred.

2005-01-24T11:51:00.000+11:00

Nice Job in Iraq Alert!

Here's an antidote to the interrogator position I found a little while ago. US based Save The Children are looking for someone to do just that, save the children, in Iraq. The Child Protection & Education Program Manager will manage and take part in emergency education and child protection program thingies.

They reckon to speak Arabic is "a plus" to do this job. A plus? Derr... I would reckon its a necessity and suggest if you can't speak Arabic and you apply for this job, you would do anything but save children.

Position description in full.
Save the Children's website.
Similar jobs at Reuters' Alertnet.

Wait A Minute Mr Skinny Postman

2005-01-19T19:50:00.000+11:00

A postman yesterday.
Originally uploaded by glennpeters.

Ah, to be a postman. They're not called that anymore. Alright, what's this fine man's official title?

a) Postperson
b) Postal Delivery Officer
c) Kevin
d) All of the above

And the answer is b. Some how I don't think kids will be rushing out to buy the latest Postal Delivery Officer Pat colouring book.

Anyway, Australia Post are looking for people in Sydney with a motorcycle licence and weigh 90kg or under (something to do with "motorcycle riding restrictions") to become Postal Delivery Officers. PDO's is the industry jargon, I hear.

90kg. Another job I can't apply for.

Position description in full.
The official PDO Pat website.

You Can Can Be A Can Can Dancer!

2005-01-15T19:10:00.000+11:00

Flicking through my local (Melb, Australia) paper, The Age, I find this beauty. The legendary Moulin Rouge in Paris is auditioning “Tall Dancers.” If you are a boy who is at least 185cm/6’1”or a girl at the 175cm/5’8” and you can dance godammit, prove it to the Moulin Rouge’s ballet mistress, Miss Janet Pharaoh.

The audition, conducted by the Moulin Rouge’s ballet mistress, Miss Janet Pharaoh will take place on Monday 24th January at Dance Factory, 442-446 Church St, Richmond.

Impress the mistress and you will be off to Paris to perform in the Moulin Rouge’s brand spanking show, Féerie'. If you don’t get in, at least take photos and send them over here to butiwantaninterestingjob@yahoo.com.

Moulin Rouge website.
Learn to dance.

Vee Have Vays of Making You Talk

2005-01-14T16:21:00.000+11:00

Nasty Job in Iraq Alert!

L-3 Communications (yes, a private company) are looking for interrogators to work in Iraq. It takes more than watching Marathon Man a few dozen times to get this job. You need to have served as a military, approved civilian interrogator or had at least five years under your belt in an intelligence agency. They will also speak to police who have completed an interrogation or debriefing course.

Unfortunately, I can’t apply for this job. US citizens, who are eligible to check out classified information at the Secret level, are the only lucky bunnies who can go for it. And don’t lie in your resume because “applicants must agree to submit to a polygraph examination.” Really. That’s exactly what the advertisement says.

And get this, interrogators must “have no demonstrated history of drug or alcohol abuse or psychiatric disorder; must agree to random drug and alcohol screening and have no demonstrated history of financial difficulty.”

Remember, L-3 Communications “maintain a drug-free workplace and perform pre-employment substance abuse testing.” Oh well, looks like I’ll be sending back my invite to their Christmas party this year.

Position description in full.

Be the Next Adam Okaro or Tom Chandler

2005-01-11T17:43:00.000+11:00

Right, you’re nicked!

Take your obsession of the ace UK television show to the ultimate by applying to be Surrey’s new Chief Super. As you would already know if you’re a big Bill fan, you need your guvner’s written endorsement if you want to be considered for the coveted position. So get sucking, kids!

There’s hope for Tom Cryer fans because applications are also invited from recently retired geezers.

And remember, just like in the television show, the ‘Ol Bill are “committed to a policy of equal opportunity for all staff (and) will not discriminate on grounds of gender, ethnic origin, sexual orientation, faith or any other factor irrelevant to a person’s work”

If you get the job, not only will I be giving you the elusive But I Want an Interesting Job check of AUD$1.00, I will give you an extra AUD$3.75 the day you are first kidnapped by hooligans on the estate.

Position description in full.
The Bill website. (Don’t go there if you’re Australian. They are a year ahead.)
Her Majesty's Inspectorate of Constabulary

Horse Racing Caller

2005-01-08T18:06:00.000+11:00

Alright fast talkers, Harness Racing Victoria are looking for somebody to commentate the trots and compile "expert form comment" on race meetings all over Australia. You'll be writing trots form for The Herald Sun, Harness Racer and a weekly column for Winharness.

You need: "clear and concise vocal skills," duh; proof that you are an accurate caller, double duh; and a strong knowledge of...get this for a bit of The Office-speak..."the harness racing product."

Everybody please apply for this job. I really want to know someone with a "passion" for the trots. Vindaloo anyone?

Position description in full
Harness Racing Victoria
An extremely hot Indian curry recipe

Animal House Attendant

2005-01-07T14:15:00.000+11:00

This has nothing to do with keeping a wild Belushi in check. Instead, when Australia's science body, CSIRO are talking a Animal House, they are talking about their Molecular Science laboratory in North Ryde, NSW.

LAB RATS!

ANIMAL HUSBANDRY!

OPERATE A GURNEY OR AUTOCLAVE!

DISSECTION!

DISCARD WASTE!

EUTHANASIA!

All this, and they pay you for it.

You need a Diploma in Animal Technology, have had experience in handling small animals like mice, rats and rabbits and have a special ability to know when the little cuties are sick or in pain. It would also be a good idea to be a girly swot and memorise the Australian Code of Practice for the Care and Use of Animals for Scientific Purposes before the interview.

Position description in full
The CSIRO website
Learn more on getting a Diploma in Animal Technology
People come from all over the world to see John Belushi's grave.
A sick rabbit.

Peacebuilding Coordinator (based in Nairobi)

2005-01-06T02:33:00.000+11:00

Let's start this thing off with a job at World Vision Sudan. They need someone to "develop and guide WV Sudan's efforts to promote a just and lasting peace in Sudan." Easy. Apart from developing World Vision Sudan's conflict resolution and advocacy strategies you will also be responsible for keeping "accurate documentation for all conflict situations including early warning, occurrences, trends, lessons learned and future solutions."

You probably need a Master's Degree in something like sociology, development studies, public policy or conflict resolution, at least five years' experience in a similar role and an "excellent understanding of the dynamics of conflict resolution in the context of war, and extensive knowledge of Sudan." before you are considered for the job.

And you need to be willing to "travel extensively" to conflict areas.

Links
Position description in full.
World Vision
Similar jobs at World Vision and other aid agencies on the Reuters Alertnet website.

Is This Thing On?

2005-01-06T01:03:00.000+11:00

Welcome. The title says it all. I'm going to find the strangest, most wonderful job vacancies on the web and you're going to apply for them. The first reader to get a job listed on this site will win a bank cheque for exactly....wait for it...AUD$1.00!!

I got the idea for this blog a when writing some stuff for World Vision Australia (Yes, keep sending all aid agencies money and more importantly, nag your local politician to spend more on aid). The job vacancies on their internal website are incredible. The first time I looked at it, they were after somebody to work in Sudan as a government lobbyist. Later in my research I found job advertisements on a "business risk consultancy" website for interrogators to work in Iraq. This was only a couple of weeks before the Abu Gharib scandal.

Of course you can help by sending me cool job ads when you stumble over them. Send them to butiwantaninterestingjob@yahoo.com and I'll do my darndest to publish as many as I can.

A little disclaimer. This is a personal and not for profit weblog. Except where otherwise noted, this site is licensed under a Creative Commons License. I am not affiliated with any employment agencies.